i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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