update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
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I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
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I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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