Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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