Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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