no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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