dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
