Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
