My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
