That's when you crack a 10am beer
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
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Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
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Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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