How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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