dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
is wine microwaveable?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
