She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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