I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
