I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
