We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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