alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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