Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
