i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I could make wine with my vomit
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
