it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
where are you?
Hypothermia
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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