i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
