A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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