Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
