I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
