I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
