I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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