about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
