My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize