have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
