So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
