It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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