great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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