When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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