One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize