I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
