Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I think a kid would responsible me up
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
