says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
