I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
