well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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