I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
