the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
