I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
there is puke in my bra ... again
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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