Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
