he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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