so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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