this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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