around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
