As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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