i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
