That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
false alarm. still invincible.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
