I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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