I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
