The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
