Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
