I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
