he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
