I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
