Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
