You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
