Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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