How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
