He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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