i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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