how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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