He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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